Main Entry: smold

Pronunciation: ‘smOld

Function: noun

Etymology: Middle O’Keeffe, from Old O’Keeffe smolde phlegm; akin to Old High Bair smolda cold/mold

1: cold-like symptoms induced by smog; seeming inflammation of respiratory mucous membrane; characterized by a hideous collection of phlegm in the chest, throat, and nasal passages that causes host to uncharacteristically hocker (when host has never before hockered in her life) on streets, sidewalks, and handkerchiefs when no one is looking (okay, tissues really...i don’t carry handkerchiefs...but handkerchiefs sounds a little more elegant)

2: one of the five humors in ancient physiology (except that there is NOTHING humorous about smold); characterized by viscid mucus secreted in abnormal quantities in the respiratory passages (did I say abnormal?); depending on temperature and humidity, can be accompanied by sneezing, burning eyes, dull throb at base of skull, and general wooziness